Plot Twist
by skygirl55
Summary: What if Castle & Beckett were given custody of Ryan & Jenny's little girl after their untimely death? Inspired by the movie Life as we Know it. Set mid-season 3, pre Knockdown.
1. Part 1

**_What if Castle & Beckett were given custody of Ryan & Jenny's little girl after their untimely death? Inspired by the movie Life as we Know it_ _. Set mid-season 3, pre Knockdown. Some pieces of canon have been slightly changed._**

* * *

 _ **A/N:** See this is what happens when I re-watch movies I always thought would make excellent fics. This isn't going to be too long, but there will be several parts. As i said above, some parts of canon have been slightly changed - they should be obvious within this first section. Enjoy!_

* * *

 _March_

"This cannot be happening. What…what were Ryan and Jenny thinking?!"

Kate Beckett threw her hands out to her side in defeat and then continued to pace the Twelfth Precinct's break room. A few feet from her, seated on the well-worn cloth sofa sat a pale infant in a carrier, pink blanket tucked snuggly around her sleeping frame. Beside the baby carrier, against the arm of the sofa, sat her partner. Ever since the news broke Kate had not been able to look directly at either of them; she was simply too stunned.

Didn't they have enough to deal with given the aftermath of the subway derailment? Wasn't it horrible enough that their friends had been two of only three killed? Dozens more were injured, some quite seriously, but only three had lost their lives: Ryan, Jenny, and an eighty year-old-woman on her way home from confession.

The accident had been only eight hours earlier. Names of the deceased weren't public knowledge yet, but of course since Ryan had his badge with him, Montgomery had been one of the first informed. He had then called in Esposito, Kate and Castle, who had dutifully picked up Grace from the babysitter and brought her to the precinct. Without them, she would have been given to child services until a guardian could be determined and none of them wanted that. Still, with the shocking news still settling in, Kate wasn't so sure she wanted this either.

The third adult in the room, a bespectacled man with a rounded middle and thinning black hair nodded solemnly. "Their will is very clear."

"But…but…I just…" Kate's voice drifted off as her pacing stopped. Never in a hundred lifetimes—a million lifetimes—could she have imagined this. Finally, her brain unable to process the stunning news any further, she glanced over to her partner for the first time with a rather helpless expression.

He shrugged, shook his head, and held his hands up in front of him, palms out. "Don't look at me; I'm just as stunned as you are."

Kate let out a noise somewhere between a stunned yelp and a frustrated groan. "A baby—an infant! Grace is only six weeks old! What are we—how are we even—I don't even." Kate turned her back on the two men when she felt her bottom lip begin to tremble. No, she would not cry; not then. She had yet to cry since learning of her colleague's death because she'd been in crisis management mode. There would be a time to grieve, but it wasn't then—not in front of the writer and certainly not in front of a man she had never met before. Kate planted her fists at her hips and breathed in and out slowly through her nose, willing the tears not to fall.

"To be fair," she heard her partner say gently behind her, "I don't think Ryan and Jenny planned on dying when she was so little."

Whipping around, she snapped, "Of course they didn't! They didn't plan on dying at all!"

"Hey!" he said, half whining as he stood off the couch. "Don't get mad at me."

She rounded her shoulders and shook her head. He was right; it wasn't fair for her to take out her frustration on him as their feelings on the situation were probably very similar. "I'm sorry. You're right I just…" She shook her head, rubbed her hands over her face and turned towards the lawyer. "I don't understand. Why wouldn't Kevin and Jenny leave Grace with their parents? And doesn't Kevin have a brother? I don't know about Jenny but…"

"The Ryans were very specific, Detective. They wanted you and Mr. Castle to have custody of Grace. When they spoke with me about it, they seemed so organized and prepared I was sure you were both aware."

"Well we weren't." Kate sighed and walked over towards the couch. As her legs were beginning to feel quite weak from having just ninety minutes of sleep in the prior twenty-four hours, she moved to sit beside the baby carrier but froze just a few inches away.

This tiny, innocent, beautiful creature was now her responsibility. She had done nothing to earn such a responsibility other than be a good friend and colleague. Hell, she wasn't even as close to Ryan as she was Esposito! Yet, out of everyone in the world—over their own parents, no less!—Ryan and Jenny had chosen she and Castle to parent Grace. What a mess.

Gazing down at the fluttering eyelids of the sleeping baby, Kate's chest constricted with anxiety. A parent—she was going to be a parent; a mother. She didn't have nine months to prepare—she didn't even have nine minutes! She could count on one hand the number of times she'd held a baby in her life. She'd never babysat in high school—not even older children. But a baby! A six week old baby! What the hell was she going to do with a baby?

Taking a half step back, Kate shook her head and her deep-rooted fears slipped past her usually iron-clad walls. "I don't know if I can do this." She lifted her chin and looked eyes-wide at her partner. God, Castle.

She wasn't alone in this; he was to be a co-parent, but was that better or worse? Sure, he had a child, but only for a couple years before he'd bailed. What was to say that he wouldn't do the same with this child? Well, perhaps that wasn't fair. Though he didn't talk about it much, she did get the feeling he regretted his decision. Alexis was living in the city now, going to NYU. Kate had even met her once and she seemed to get along well with her father now, but interacting with an eighteen year old was a hell of a lot different than dealing with a baby that only slept three to four hours at a time and needed round the clock care.

Beyond Castle's dedication to fatherhood, how would they even begin to take care of Grace while living separately? Could they? Or would they—god help her—need to live together? Their partnership was finally getting to a good place after—no. No she wouldn't think about her missed opportunity from the prior May. It wasn't Castle's fault or hers; just a misunderstanding. But they were in a good place—a very good place. Dare she think it: they were having fun again. This was sure to rock their relationship—if that's what she wanted to call it—to its core.

"Well," Castle said with a cautious tone. He gazed down at the infant in her carrier, smiled softly, and then turned back to the lawyer. "I could just take her, right? Alone, that is."

The lawyer shook his head. "I'm sorry, but it's not possible for one of you to take her. The will is very clear. If Mr. Castle and Detective Beckett do not agree to adopt Grace together, then she'll go to Jennifer's cousin in Milwaukee."

Castle glanced briefly at Kate then back at the bespectacled man. "Well that's just ridiculous. Why wouldn't Grace go to one of her grandparents? Why would they send her away from everyone here?"

The lawyer shook his head and said, "I'm sorry; I can't answer those questions."

"Could…could you give us a minute please?" Kate requested gently. The layer nodded and exited the breakroom, unfortunately shutting the door a bit too hard in the process. The slam roused Grace from her sleeping state and she began to cry. While Kate froze, the writer swooped in and scooped her up, bouncing her as he walked circles around Kate. Within two minutes she'd quieted, but had not fallen back to sleep.

Kate groaned, raked her fingers through her hair, and sat on the couch beside the new empty baby carrier. "What are we going to do, Castle?"

"Well, now that Mother has finally moved out—again—the loft has two spare bedrooms. One could be yours and one could be hers."

The suggestion was so absurd, Kate actually laughed. "You want us to live together?"

"With Grace being so small I don't see another way. I mean we could alternate weeks or something, but would you really want to? You might not realize it since you haven't experienced it, but trust me when I say it's best to tag-team babies this small. We can swap nights with the baby monitor or something, but it'll be nice if there's a second person there."

Kate sighed as she looked up at him. Damn, she hated it when he was being one hundred percent reasonable; it always threw her off.

"But we don't have to. We can switch every few days. Here." He held out the baby to her, but Kate stood quickly and backed away from him as though the pink bundle held several snakes.

"No I'm good."

An amused expression crossed his face. "Are you afraid of the baby Kate?"

"No! No. I mean, no I just don't want to upset her again. She'll probably start crying if I take her."

"C'mon Beckett. She won't bite."

"No—I—really, Castle—oh." She relented when he put the bundle in her arms and backed away. Grace began to whimper and Kate rocked her, albeit slightly awkwardly. "It's okay, Grace. You're okay…you'll be okay. Oh god I'm horrible at this." She groaned at how foreign sounding the baby-fied tone seemed when coming out of her own mouth.

"No, you're not." Rick promised. "But you'll get better."

As Kate continued to rock, Grace's whimpers quieted until she gazed up at Kate with her big, round, blue eyes. Kate almost saw curiosity in the girl's eyes, as though she was wondering who this strange woman was and when her parents would be back to get her. At this gut-wrenching thought, Kate felt the tears prick her eyes once more.

Grace was an orphan. Both her parents were gone before she even had a chance to know them, but she knew them and so did her partner. They could raise Grace in the city where her parents lived, where they fell in love. She could visit with her grandparents, her Uncle Javier, and with everyone else important in her parents' lives. Though Kate had never strongly felt the need to become a mother, in that moment she felt a sense of duty she could not ignore.

Gazing up at her partner, she sniffed back her tears and said, "We have to make this work."

He grinned at her. "I agree. So…you'll move into the loft tonight?"

She gave a half laugh. "Guess I don't have much choice."

"Not really. Oh!" He grimaced and she gazed at him questioningly. "It's just…Josh won't be very happy about this, will he?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? Josh is spending six months in Africa. He left a few weeks ago." Kate walked over to the couch and set Grace down gently in her carrier before turning back to the writer, who still looked a bit confused.

"So you're…broken up?"

She shrugged and then nodded. "Basically. He didn't tell me he was going until a few days before. I said I wasn't sure I wanted to wait, he said he didn't care. Honestly…it was falling apart anyway. He was so busy, I was so busy—we hardly saw each other. I used to like that about our relationship—how we both led separate lives, but still had time for each other. But…the longer it went on I guess it just felt more and more separate."

He bobbed his head. "Makes sense. For what it's worth: I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't be; it's fine. But I appreciate that nonetheless." Then, shoving her hands down into her pants pockets she stepped forward and asked tentatively. "We can do this right?"

"Totally. Piece of cake." He waved his hand flippantly. She gave him an annoyed look and he relented. "I'm not going to tell you it'll be easy, Kate. It's going to be hard, really hard, but I think we can do it."

She gave him a half smile. "Partners, right?"

He bobbed his head. "Partners."

* * *

 _April_

Kate glanced up briefly when she heard the sound of bare feet slapping against the stairs. She shook her head and turned back to the pile of clothes beside her on the couch. She folded a t-shirt and tucked it back into the laundry basket now filled with clean clothes just as she felt the couch sink beneath the weight of another human. Barely the first week of April and he was barefoot already—just thing to add to the list of reasons why Richard Castle was insane. Bare feet! She nearly shivered at the thought. She was just glad she finally didn't have to wear an extra sweatshirt around the apartment!

"She go down easy tonight?" she asked a minute later, placing another t-shirt in the basket.

The writer hummed. "She was in and out during that last bottle, too. I think the fresh air on our walk tired her out; we should do that more often."

"Well now that it's nicer out, we probably can." After folding her last laundry item—a pair of NYPD sweat pants—Kate turned around to that she faced the writer on the couch instead of the opposite direction. He lounged with one foot on the ground and the other resting casually against the edge of the coffee table. He wore gray sweat pants and a navy blue t-shirt, keeping things just as casually as he had for the prior three weeks—ever since the trajectory of their lives had been forever altered.

The previous twenty-two days had unquestionably been the most difficult of Kate's life. Not only did she and Castle have to figure out how to live together without driving each other insane, but they also needed to do so while operating on little sleep and taking care of a very needy, but very little girl. Had it not been for the writer, Kate was certain she wouldn't have made it. Even still, she was barely hanging by a thread. Thank god Montgomery had insisted she take a months-long adoptive-parent leave. If she had to deal with two a.m. feedings and bouts of crying for no reason on top of her shifts she was certain she would have been driven to the absolute brink of her sanity.

Three weeks in she was just finally starting to feel comfortable with feedings, changings, bathing, and two-month-old level entertainment, Kate had never once worried about her partner. From the first moment they walked into the loft together, Castle had been an absolute rock star. He changed diapers with ease. He didn't bat an eyelash at a volcanic-like diaper blow-out that had Kate nearly gagging. And, miraculously, he seemed quite happy with getting up with her for middle of the night feedings whereas Kate was a grumbling, bumbling mess.

When they met three years earlier if someone had told Kate that she would, at one point in the future, begin to idolize Richard Castle, she would have laughed in their face. What a hilarious joke! Only it wasn't so funny. Insofar as parenting, he was absolutely the model she wanted to emulate. Well, perhaps fifteen percent less carefree and more serious, but as a whole he was fantastic. Despite it being a relief that she could depend on him without worrying, his behavior perplexed her quite thoroughly.

"Are you staring at me Beckett?" the writer asked when he cracked one eyelid open.

She let out a breathy laugh. The staring hadn't been intentional. She was merely looking in his direction as she tried to figure him out. "Not exactly. I was just thinking its about time you and I had an honest conversation about a few things."

He opened his chin, gazed down and caught a glimpse of a stain on the sleeve of his t-shirt. He picked up the sleeve, examined it, and then grimaced. Glancing back over to her he asked, "Is it about your raw sexual attraction to me while I'm wearing a shirt stained with baby spit up?"

"Ah, no."

"Then what?"

"About your divorce. About your daughter."

The writer flinched at her second statement and immediately pushed himself up off the couch. "Why would you want to talk about that?" He didn't look at her as he asked the question. Instead, he made his way to the kitchen sink, grabbed a paper towel, wet it under the faucet, and began to scrub at his shirt sleeve.

Kate approached the kitchen as though the man inside it were diffusing a nuclear bomb. "Because the past three weeks have made one thing very clear: that you are a wonderful, attentive, caring, loving parent."

With this comment, he did glance over his shoulder at her. "That's kind of you to say, but I don't see how-"

"Seeing as I'm going to assume that you didn't just magically acquire these skills, I can't help but wonder: you didn't give up Alexis because you didn't want to be a father, did you?"

After picking up his first novel nearly a decade earlier, the detective had been curious about who the writer was as a person. Some internet research revealed a bitter divorce with his wife and a custody settlement that yielded him visitation only once every few months. Further inquiry exposed an interview from Meredith Castle, the ex-wife in question, stating that Richard Castle was far too interested in his budding celebrity lifestyle to be a parent. Later interviews with the writer himself confirmed as much.

Initially, this knowledge had put a bitter taste in Kate's mouth and several years passed before she picked up another one of his books. When they initially met and she was overcome by his flirtatious demeanor, she wanted virtually nothing to do with him. It had taken several months of their forced partnership before she finally realized the real Richard Castle—the man beneath the infamous exterior—was nothing like the persona he put on. The more she got to know him, the less his history with his ex-wife and daughter made sense, yet she chalked it up as youth. He had only been twenty-four when Alexis was born; some people simply weren't ready for parental-level responsibility at that point.

Twenty-two days of watching Castle dote on Grace, attend to her every need, go above and beyond in every conceivable way had changed Kate's perspective entirely. As he would have said: the story didn't make sense. This man was a natural born parent, a natural born caregiver and she began to seriously doubt he would have walked away from his child in the way that was depicted in the media.

When Castle finally turned to face her, the fabric of his sleeve now saturated and sticking to the skin on his arm, he evaded her gaze. When she pressed by saying his name, he responded simply with, "No."

Kate groaned, now frustrated and angry with him. "Then why would you maintain such a story? It makes you seem so-"

"Exactly."

Surprised, Kate took a half step back. Who in their right mind would want to come off as an asshole, nearly deadbeat father? Surely not someone as kindhearted as he. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm the bad guy; that story makes me the bad guy."

Kate shook her head and walked around to his side of the kitchen island. "I don't understand."

The writer threw the paper towel he'd been using into the trash with a bit more force than necessary. Looking up to Kate he began his explanation.

"After Meredith told me that she and the director she'd been having an affair with were moving to California and she was divorcing me, I told her I wanted to keep Alexis. She laughed—she laughed in this evil little way and said I'd never win a custody battle because she would fight me to the bitter end. _To the bitter end_ and that's exactly what it turned out to be.

"Her director boyfriend paid for a fancy lawyer who assured me that a single father would never be able to gain custody of a daughter and it became immediately clear Meredith would do anything to win the judge's favor even though she was the one moving out of state. She told Alexis the most vicious things about me and about Mother, most of which weren't true or extreme exaggerations or misrepresentations of the truth. Alexis was only four…she was getting so upset and confused—I couldn't stand hurting her that way so I let her go."

Kate felt the hairs at the back of her neck prickle at the broken sound of his tone. She had never seen this vibrant, impossible-believing man in front of her look so defeated. In a gentle tone she asked, "But why would you let people believe the stories Meredith was telling? Why not try to defend yourself or pitch a different narrative?"

The writer merely shrugged. "It would have turned into he said/she said. Besides, you know how the media can be. They want to believe a juicy, scandalous story about someone famous and that's exactly what she was giving them. Besides, if I kept fighting, the process would have gone on even longer and I couldn't do that to Alexis."

Kate almost growled. As a person who fought for justice for those who had been wronged, she was offended to her very core that a good man like Castle—a person she considered her friend—had been screwed over in such a way. "Meredith is a terrible person."

The writer merely shrugged. "I don't know if I'd say that. She has her faults, for sure."

Kate was even more infuriated by his passive comment. She wanted to tear Meredith to shreds, but he was just rolling over? Why? Then, slowly, as she studied his face, the reason became clearer. Castle had done what he thought was best for his child. He had sacrificed his own happiness—the family he loved dearly—in an effort to lessen his child's pain. It wasn't about _him_ it was about _her_. Still, that didn't make it right.

Less angry, but still disgusted, Kate shook her head and leaned against the counter. "So none of it was true, was it? When she said you didn't want to be a father? When she said you cheated on her?"

He let out a mirthless laugh. "I'm not saying I was enthusiastic about our marriage, but I never cheated."

Kate shook her head and looked over at the man who suddenly appeared several inches smaller. She took a step towards him and dipped her chin so that she could catch his eye. "I'm so sorry, Castle."

He smiled at her, though it seemed forced. "It's okay, Beckett. Alexis and I are okay now."

Kate tried to mirror his expression but she couldn't bring herself to smile. She knew that he had a good relationship with his daughter now; the girl had stopped by twice so far to visit her new "baby sister." At the same time, Kate hated the fact that he had to wait fourteen years until they had a close relationship again. "But all the time you missed."

He let out a breathy sound. "Yeah I try not to think about that, actually."

As he walked back to the sitting room, Kate followed, feeling slightly guilty. "I'm sorry; I really didn't mean to upset you, but I had to know. I couldn't believe all those things were true—not after seeing you with Grace."

"Well, that's just it—things are going to be completely different with Grace."

"Of course they will be! Rick, listen," Kate walked up to him so she could look him directly in the eye as she spoke. "I swear to you that no matter what happens I would never, ever take Grace from you." At that point, three weeks in, she honestly didn't know what the future held for them. She was merely focusing on keeping herself—and Grace—alive and taken care of, but no matter how the future played out, she knew that moving to the other side of the country with the girl was not even a possibility.

The writer smiled genuinely and reached out to pat her shoulder. "Trust me, Beckett, I am very well aware – and delightfully thankful for—the differences between you and my ex-wife."

They shared a laugh for a moment and then he moved to turn away, but she grabbed his arm and held on to it. "I don't think I've said it enough, or, maybe even at all in the past three weeks but thank you, Rick. For being my partner in all this."

He slid his arm out of her grasp just enough to be able to give her hand a squeeze. "You know I think we make a pretty okay team."

Her jaw nearly dropped. "Pretty okay? The six week old baby we were handed without any notice is not only still living, but thriving. Last week the pediatrician high-fived us. I'd say that's more than okay."

The writer laughed. "Okay—a pretty great team, then."

She nodded, patted his arm, and then walked back to the sitting area to retrieve her basket of clean laundry. As she walked towards the stairs he stopped her and asked, "Did you want to watch some TV or something? After you put that away, I mean."

"Oh," she said with notable surprise. Thus far during their cohabitation they had not spent too much leisure time together. Then again, they had not had much leisure time. Mostly, their non-Grace related time involved them collapsing from exhaustion and trying to sneak in a few hours of sleep or completing a necessary-for-survival task like grocery shopping or laundry. "Um, okay, but just for a bit. I want to get to bed early since I have baby monitor duty tonight."

The writer nodded in agreement. "Just come back down when you're finished; I'll see if there's anything good on. And Kate?"

She paused with one foot up on the bottom step. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for everything you said tonight. It means a lot."

She nodded her head at him. "Anytime, Castle."

* * *

 _Thanks for reading - stay tuned for more!_


	2. Part 2

_May_

"Oh, you're here. Good. I mean, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. I just…I wasn't sure…I don't-"

"Kate." Richard Castle approached the frazzled woman clutching the screaming baby as though she were an incendiary device. "Relax," he told her. "There's no need to apologize; of course you should have called me."

"But…" She gazed down at the unhappy child and then back up at him, "it's my night."

For the prior two months, Kate and Castle had done their best to split care duties of Grace evenly. Once they were past the initial few weeks where they purely existed in "survival mode" Kate was very adamant that the set a schedule and stick to it. Castle volunteered to take care of Grace while Kate was working, so they did not need to find a nanny or a day care. As her schedule varied, and she worked both nights and days, this meant his schedule varied as well. Often times when she had a night shift, she would come home and need to sleep, so Castle's baby-care time extended several hours. As a compromise to this, Kate insisted on being Grace's main care giver on any days off she had, even if that meant multiple days in a row. Castle rarely disappeared completely during those times and of course he pitched in if there was an issue, but Kate remained adamant about sticking to their routine to keep things fair between them.

That particular weekend was a rarity in that Kate had worked a regular day-shift week and had off both Saturday and Sunday. Conveniently, Rick had a Black Pawn event to attend on Saturday night. As Kate was already scheduled to be caring for Grace, this meant a schedule swap was not required.

All in all, the day had gone great. She had awoken early with Grace, but that was fine, because they ended up going for a nice run using Grace's new run-behind stroller. Castle put her down for her morning nap while Kate showered and then they all ate lunch together.

Grace had appeared to be her normal, happy, bubbly self all through the afternoon and even when Kate fed her just before putting her down. Then, twenty minutes later, the wailing started. At first, Kate had thought it was just gas pains, but the longer it went on, the more frustrated and confused she became. Finally, around hour four of piercing screams she had given in and called the writer, not knowing what else to do.

As she cradled Grace and paced the floor, waiting for Castle to arrive home, her brief moment of relief from him saying, "I'll be there as fast as I can," began to morph into guilt. She was a grown woman—a detective. She had survived more than most her age, and had been caring for this baby for two months. She should have been able to handle a little bit of crying.

Except, it wasn't a little bit of crying. It was constant crying, and she had no idea how to make it stop. She had failed.

As her bottom lip began to tremble against her will, Castle reached out and placed his hands gently atop her shoulders. "Kate, look at me. You did the right thing by calling me, okay? I don't mind one bit. You know me—I was looking for an excuse to cut out early. Who wants to be around those stuffy publishing people anyway? Not when I can be around this little girl, right? Now, let's see what's going on here."

His voice turning to a more soothing tone, Rick reached out and took the child from Kate's embrace and began to coo at her. "Hi sweetheart. What's the matter, hmm? Why are you giving your mommy such a hard time?"

Kate groaned at his use of the "M" word—in that moment, she felt she had done nothing to earn it.

A little over a month earlier when they had sat down and had their family planning meeting just before Kate went back to work, the writer had broached the subject of whether or not they should be referring to themselves as 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' for Grace's benefit. Kate was immediately hesitant, but Castle had argued that if they were both committing to Grace and were progressing through the adoption process it only made sense for them to establish themselves as parental units in her eyes. As this was a sound argument, Kate really could not rebut, however she still was not entirely comfortable with being known as "Mommy" on most days.

"I assume you tried to feed her, changed her—both diaper and onsie?" With her nod he asked, "Did you take her temperature?"

"Yes, it was ninety-nine-point-nine when I called you, but you know she always runs warm and she had worked herself up so much with the crying I didn't think it was bad. Oh god—do you think she's sick!?"

He shrugged. "Just trying to rule out possibilities. And, don't worry, that low-grade of a fever wouldn't have alarmed me either." He carried the baby over to the sitting area where the thermometer sat on the coffee table. He swiped the device across her forehead and over her temple before reading the display. "100.3."

Kate's heart seized in her chest. "It's going up! Do we need to call the doctor?"

The writer shook his head and put the thermometer back on the table. "Not as long as it stays under 101; we'll keep watching it. Look, um, if you could just take her for a few minutes, I'll change out of this monkey suit and then I'll take over; you can go to bed."

Had she not been already so stressed, Kate would have laughed at his comment. "Bed? Castle; I'm not leaving you alone with her. Besides, how could I possibly sleep when I don't know what's wrong with her or why she's crying?"

He gave her a soft smile. "Okay, then just give me a few minutes and I'll be back."

* * *

"Kate?"

"Mmm 'm awake I prom's," she mumbled through a yawn. Opening her eyes, Kate found herself crumpled on the couch with her head resting against the writer's shoulder. She gazed up at him and found him gazing at her with a rather dopey expression.

"Morning."

"Is…is she…" Kate's tone turned to one of amazement when she realized the most incredible thing about the morning: silence. Turning her head to the center of the room, she saw that Grace was asleep in her pack-n-play. The last she remembered it was two in the morning, Grace was still crying, and she was going to sit down and close her eyes for five minutes. "What time is it?"

"Just before five," the writer said. "And yes, she's sleeping."

Kate pushed herself up and leaned over to gaze at the sleeping girl. Even watching it she could hardly believe it. "When did that happen?"

"Dunno; I fell asleep too."

Shaking her head, Kate sat back against the couch cushions and looked over at her companion. "Wonder what was wrong?"

He shrugged. "Could have been anything. Alexis never had a night like this, but I heard about plenty from the other moms at the park."

"Other moms." She echoed with a chuckle.

"Don't tease me!"

"I would never!" she sinister. "It's actually quite cute—you being super dad, I mean."

"Cute?" he repeated with a curled lip. "Kate, you know I prefer 'ruggedly handsome.'"

She laughed lightly. "Sorry." Then, after another yawn she ran her hands over her face. "Oh god, I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, but we made it through our first parenting crisis, didn't we?"

She gave him a gentle smile as she nodded. All of Grace's prior crying spells, though stressful at the time, had been tame compared to this one. As Kate watched the little girl's face get progressively redder and scrunched, her heart broke, because there was nothing she could do to stop it. "It was awful; I hate when she cries."

"At least we didn't end up in the emergency room or anything—hey!" he whined when she backhandedly smacked his arm.

"Don't even put that out there!"

"Well, I hate to break it to you, but it will happen one time sooner or later," he said wisely.

Kate groaned and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her thighs and cradling her face with her fingertips. "I don't know how I'm going to handle that."

Castle's hand landed in the middle of her upper back and he rubbed it in small circles. "It'll be fine. We'll get through it just like we got through this."

"I hope so. Sorry, again, about last night."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I should have handled it."

"Why?"

"Because it was my night."

Castle huffed out a breath and turned on the couch so that he faced her. "Kate, listen, about that. I think we may be going about this all wrong—my day, your night. That's not parenting. I appreciate that you want to share the duties as much as you can while you're here since I keep her while you're at work, believe me. Meredith was always all too happy to flit off here and there and just expect me to take care of Alexis. I appreciate that you feel differently—really I do, but parenting—it's supposed to be a partnership, which is great, because that's what we already had."

She nodded. "Exactly; I'm being your partner by sharing the duties."

"Yes, but far too rigidly. Just hear me out on this," he added quickly when she opened her mouth to protest. "I think we should stop thinking of these things as yours or mine. It's us. We're both parenting—together. Yeah, it's a little weird sometimes and we're still going to have some awkward moments, but that's life; it's messy, and parenting makes it messier. I just think we'll all be happier."

Kate lowered her chin and considered his words. She understood what he was getting at. Perhaps she was treating their schedules a bit too much like those at the precinct, but she also did not want him to feel as though she was not pulling her weight. "I just want to do my share."

"And you are," he promised her. "I have never once questioned that. Let's just…try and relax the schedule a bit and see how it goes, okay?"

She nodded. "Sure, Castle; if that's what you want."

He smiled and squeezed her arm. "I really think it'll be for the best. Now, how about some coffee?"

She laughed. "Do you really need to ask?"

"No I guess I don't." With that, he stood, in the process, dropping a kiss onto the top of her head. Though he continued to walk away without hesitation, Kate was surprised by the kiss as it was far more intimate an interaction than they usually had. For a moment, nerves began to overtake her, but she did the best she could to suppress them. As he was just as tired as she was, the move had probably been subconscious and meaningless. Besides, she was far too exhausted to read too much into it. It didn't make her uncomfortable it was simply…unexpected.

"Uh oh; I only have decaf."

"What?!" Kate gasped and her head whipped towards the kitchen so quickly she was surprised her neck didn't crack.

He winked at her. "Just kidding."

"Don't joke about coffee!" she scolded, but then as she gazed in the pack-n-play to check on Grace again she smiled. As much as Castle could annoy her, she would certainly have been lost without him.

* * *

 _June_

"Kate! Kate! Excuse me sir have you—KATE!"

As she peered through the parted curtain surrounding her hospital bed, Kate's jaw dropped when she spotted the six-foot-one figure with a baby strapped to his chest barreling towards her. The sight of Grace's legs bouncing up and down as he hurried across the already crowded ER would have been comical had she not simply been too blinded by shock. What was he doing there? How had he even—oh. Damn that Esposito. She should have known.

"Castle, what are you doing?" Kate scolded the moment the writer was within earshot. Obviously ignoring her tone, he whipped open the curtain and stepped into the tiny cordoned off area, his eyes frantically searching her body and face for injury. "Why did you bring Grace?"

"Couldn't get a hold of Mother to watch her, and when Espo called I-"

"You know you shouldn't have her here—it's probably not safe. How'd you even get back here?" Kate questioned. She had been to this hospital several times before and on each visit the woman guarding the front desk had been quite militant—even after she flashed her badge.

"Oh." The writer folded his hands around the infant's frame. She cooed and reached out her hands towards the woman she knew to be her mother. "The desk clerk was a fan."

Kate rolled her eyes. Of course—she should have known. "What happens when the day comes that your autograph isn't an all access pass?"

"Oh not of me—of Grace." He lifted one of his large hands to stroke down the blonde whips of hair just beginning to form on the six-month-old's head. She made a goo-ing sound and tried to crane her head up to see him. "I told her that this little girl just had to see how her mommy was doing because she's very concerned."

Kate let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah she looks it. I—ah!" She groaned as she went to move her left arm. The topical numbing cream a nurse had slathered on her wound had done wonders for the pinch in her skin. The pain in her muscle as she moved, however, was still very much there.

Castle's frantic expression returned when her face contorted with discomfort. "Oh god, Kate! Your arm! Espo told me you were stabbed but he didn't say where. I was so afraid that you had been—that you—that…"

"Rick I'm fine." Kate told him in a soft tone. "Honestly, 'stabbed' was a bit of an exaggeration."

He arched an eyebrow as he looked at her. "You mean, that wound in your arm isn't from a bladed weapon?"

She pressed her lips tightly together; he would get her on a technically. "It is…but it's just my arm. Sounds like Espos phone call made it sound like it was in my chest or something."

"Stabbed is stabbed Kate. How deep is it? Have you seen the doctor yet? Will you need surgery?"

She could not help but roll her eyes. "Honestly, Castle; it's no big deal. I'm sure they'll just stitch me up and send me on my way. You and Grace can just—hey! Espo!" Kate called out to her partner as she watched him walk by her curtained off area. He had tagged along with their suspect, who had come to the hospital for treatment on his nose that had "mysteriously" broken as he was put into the back of the police car. The dark-skinned man stopped walking, nodded to the writer and baby, and then gazed curiously at his colleague. "You called him?" she inquired in a tone that also indicated scolding.

Espo shrugged. "He is your emergency contact."

"This isn't an emergency."

"I'm you're emergency contact?" the writer asked after Esposito shrugged and walked away.

Kate parted her lips when her head turned to the writer, who appeared on the verge of breaking out into a huge grin. Yes, it was true that he was listed as her emergency contact—and had been for almost a full year. Technically, he was her emergency contact in addition to her father as the NYPD required two emergency contacts for their field personnel. When she'd written his name down during the yearly update of the forms she was just being practical. He was with her practically all the time—this saved someone the trouble of having to call him. Plus, he would be nosy about everything anyway. Really, she was saving the poor NYPD administrators from being pestered by him to find out information.

Before she could formulate any of that into a reasonable response, however, the doctor stepped into the curtained area and gazed curiously at both Castle and the baby he held. "I'm sorry, sir, but this treatment area is for patients and immediate family only. You'll have to-"

"He's family," Kate said at the same time as the writer said, "I'm family."

The doctor glanced between them until Kate gave a reassuring nod. With a shrug, he glanced back to his clipboard and said, "I have good news for you, Detective. The knife didn't penetrate your bone so we can get that wound cleaned and stitched for you. You are a very lucky lady—particularly with your hand."

"Hand?!" The writer questioned. When Kate held up her gauze-covered left hand the writer cursed out, "Shit Kate!"

"No swearing!" she sharply replied. As Grace was becoming more aware of language every day, she had insisted that they both try their best not to use PG-13- or R-rated words around her. Generally, she was the one who let one slip, so it was indicative of his distress when the writer cursed.

He clicked his tongue, obviously displeased. "But you could have cut tendons and ligaments and-"

"I know that, Castle, but I'm fine; you worry too much."

"About you? Not enough."

She offered him a small smile. When the doctor left again, she reached out her right hand so she could drag a finger down Grace's arm. The girl babbled happily and, for the first time her injury, Kate smiled. Nothing quite warmed her heart like Grace's grin, particularly now that the girl had her two bottom front teeth. Glancing up at the man holding her, Kate said, "Thanks for coming, by the way." As much as she still didn't believe his presence was necessary, she was glad to have the company while she waited for her stitches.

He bobbed his head. "Always."

* * *

Gazing down at the girl now fast asleep in her yellow onsie covered in orange ducks, Kate felt the tears begin to prick her eyes. She loved Grace so much— _so much_ —more than she ever though she could.

When she and Castle initially took custody of Grace, Kate was deeply concerned about her ability to be a mother. She had always been on the fence about whether or not she wanted to experience parenthood and knew that her decision would depend heavily on the man she was with and what kind of father he would be. Furthermore, she had never imagined adoption in any of those scenarios. Having a child of her own—not to mention nine months to prepare for it—was one thing, but taking on someone else's child as her own? While she was confident she could keep the child alive and free from injury, the emotional aspect of motherhood concerned her.

Kate had spent her entire adult life keeping everyone—her so called "close friends" included—at arm's length. As adult relationships always had many layers, this worked for her and she was still able to have successful—albeit not long-term—relationships. But infants? They thrived on unconditional love and support. They depended on it and Kate wasn't sure she was even capable of giving it.

The first few weeks were difficult for her—well, for all of them. They were adjusting from the shock of a new lifestyle not to mention all the regular trials and tribulations a six-week-old impressed on its caregivers. Then, one night around the three week mark, Kate was singing and rocking Grace to sleep after her evening bottle when she felt the girl snuggle into her chest and grasp her thumb with all five of her tiny fingers and for Kate that was the moment; she was in love with this little girl— _her_ little girl. Since then, every smile, giggle, gurgle, and coo had only made her fall deeper.

That night, even though Castle had insisted that of course she did not have to take her turn putting Grace to bed due to her practically useless left arm, Kate scooped the girl up when he answered a call from his editor. It wasn't bath night so all Grace needed was changed, fed, and read to. Thought it was difficult with the stitches in her thumb, Kate managed all three of these tasks. It wasn't until the second book involving a mother and daughter walking through a garden looking at flowers of different colors that it hit her.

She was a daughter without a mother and, biologically speaking, so was Grace. Now she, as the replacement mother, had a daughter to care for, but what would happen if her minor stabbing that afternoon hadn't been so minor? What if it wasn't that incident, but another, a month, a year, or several years during the road. She had a dangerous job—there was no way around that—and now it wasn't just herself she had to worry about.

Emotions overtaking her, she'd put the sleeping girl down, and attempted to make a hasty escape towards her room, but inadvertently ran smack into the writer when slipping out into the hall.

"You put her down already? You know you didn't have to—hey…" His voice softened the moment he caught sight of her face. "What's going on?"

"Nothing; I'm fine," she said, though the tearful hitch in her voice was a dead giveaway.

"You're not." When she remained silent and staring down at his bare feet, he prompted with, "Kate?"

She sniffed and shook her head, glancing up at him briefly before making her way down the hall to her room. "It's nothing, Castle, really; just a stupid thing."

He followed her—of course he followed her; it was like his default setting. "It's not stupid if its making you cry."

"I'm not crying."

"Yeah, you are. C'mon."

Knowing he wouldn't give in unless she caved, Kate leaned back against the doorframe of her bedroom and shrugged, her bottom lip quivering. "I just…I had this moment when I was reading to her. Neither of us have mothers and today I was stabbed. My mother was stabbed."

His shoulders rounded and he stepped up to her. As he skimmed a hand down her arm he said, "Those two situations are completely different."

"I know that."

"And, Grace does have a mother. I know—I know," he quickly jumped in when she opened her mouth. "I know what you meant, but Kate you're her mother now; you're the only mother she'll know."

Kate nodded as a few tears slid down her cheeks. That being the case, it made her even less confident in her future career as a detective. "I have a dangerous job and maybe I…I don't know…" She let out a long breath and covered her face with her hands.

"Listen, Kate, you're amazing at what you do. You know that; I know that. But you would also be amazing at anything you do, so if you want to make a change, you'll have my full support, I promise you that, but that's not something you have to decide tonight. You did have a rather stressful day."

She let out a breathy laugh as his comment felt like an understatement.

Giving her shoulder a squeeze, he nodded towards her bedroom. "C'mon. Why don't you lay down and I'll rub your back for a bit."

She couldn't help but think he was about to treat her like Grace. "Are you going to give me a bottle too?"

He twisted his lips in thought. "I can, but that could get a little weird."

That time, she did let out a small laugh. As usual, he had made her feel better in the simplest of ways. "Thanks, Castle, but I'm going to clean up and stuff first."

He shrugged. "I'll wait."

"You really don't-"

He cut off her insistence with, "Kate. I'll wait."

* * *

Ten minutes later when she emerged from the bathroom, Kate was almost completely stunned to see the writer sitting on the end of her bed, skimming through his phone with his thumb. She had told him he could leave; there was no reason for him to wait for her. Then again: when did he ever listen to her?

"I can't believe you waited," she said with a half laugh as she knelt on the bed beside him.

He put his phone away and smiled at her. "I said I would." Then he nodded his head towards her pillows. She carefully slipped beneath the sheet and quilt, being mindful of her still injured arm. The writer then peeled the covers back to her waist and began skimming his hand up and down her spine and—oh, that did feel rather nice, didn't it?

"I'm sorry I wasn't there today."

"Why?"

"I could have stopped you from getting stabbed."

She scoffed. "Or been stabbed yourself."

He poked her just beside her left shoulder blade. "Stop being so negative. You know the best partner in the universe would have saved you."

Kate lifted her head and turned it so she could just catch a glimpse of his face from the corner in her eye. In a monotone she repeated, "In the universe."

He nodded confidently. "Yes. I have a certificate that says that and everything."

She hummed and put her head back down as his thumbs rubbed over the taunt muscles of her mid-back. "I do miss you, Castle. I'm glad you're here for Grace, but 's not the same without my partner." As much as he had driven her crazy in the beginning, Kate felt no shame in admitting it. Her days at the Twelfth weren't the same now that Castle wasn't handing her a cup of coffee in the mid-morning. He was handing her a travel mug full of one before she left the house…but that wasn't the point. She missed his jokes, she missed his input, she missed the way having him at her side always made her feel more at ease even in a stressful situation because she knew no matter what he would have her back.

"I can still be your partner—I'll get one of those backpack carriers and bring Grace with me."

"Oh Montgomery would love that."

"He would."

For several minutes the two remained silent until Castle gently slid his hand away, pressed a kiss onto the back of her head, and pulled the covers up to her shoulders. "Would you like a glass of water?" he asked in a voice just barely above a whisper.

As his relaxation technique had nearly put her to sleep, she mumbled out, "'m fine, Cas'l."

"Okay. You can come get me if you need anything. Goodnight, Kate."

Kate heard a metallic sound after his parting statement and opened her eyes to see him picking up the baby monitor from its recharging cradle by her bedside. "It's my night." She managed, thought sluggishly.

"Not anymore."

She went to push herself up but winced at the pain on her left side. Sitting back on her hip she gave him a look and said, "Rick, it's-"

"Kate Beckett, you were stabbed in the hand and the arm. You. Need. To. Rest," he said, emphasizing each word definitively. "And if you hear her crying, don't you dare get up."

Though she felt the need to protest, she also knew he was right; she would feel better and heal easier with a full nights' rest. Nodding gently to him she said, "Thank you."

He winked at her. "Always."

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you all so much for your amazing response to this story. I'm really not planning out chapters or anything, its just a one-shot that got wildly out of control :)_


	3. Part 3

_July_

"Hey, hey, hey! How are my two—oh, what's wrong?"

Castle's light tone changed immediately upon finding Kate seated on the floor by the piano, Grace face-down on a blanket a few feet away, pushing herself up and down on her hands and knees. She was getting closer and closer to crawling—or so they thought—so they were trying to encourage her as often as they could.

Kates eyes turned up towards the writer and she let her cell phone drop to the floor beside her. Plastering a smile across her face she said, "Nothing, nothing. I just…Josh just called me."

The writer leaned heavily against the back of the sofa. "Josh."

"Yeah."

"He's back?"

Kate hummed. "Just a few days ago. He asked if I wanted to get a drink." She shouldn't have been surprised as she was to see his name pop up on her phone's display. As they weren't in communication, she was not entirely sure when he was returning to the States, but it made sense that he was calling her. She was almost glad to hear from him—glad that hearing from him had stirred no romantic feelings within her whatsoever. It was like running into a former colleague or someone she knew from high school.

Castle's brow rose. "Oh. Well. I-"

"I told him about Grace."

The writer's mouth shut for ten seconds before he continued with, "Bet he was a little surprised."

Kate laughed. When he asked how she was doing and she responded with, "I adopted a baby; she's seven months old," he went silent for so long she actually thought the line went dead. Then, he stammered out half a dozen questions, which she calmly answered. "You could say that."

The moment Castle's name was brought into the conversation, Josh's responses became noticeably clipped. He wished her luck and happiness, and then ended their conversation. She was neither surprised nor disappointed with this; it was simply something that needed to happen.

"It's over between us—for good, I mean. Not that I didn't think it was over before he left, but it definitely is now." Kate sighed and scooped up Grace, pulling the girl into her lap and hugging her close. Grace babbled and played with Kate's fingers. "It's so funny, Castle. Years ago I would have thought he was the perfect guy for me. I thought I wanted someone busy, someone career driven, someone who was just one part of many aspects of my life, but I finally realized that's not what I want, what I need."

Kate gazed down at her daughter and combed some of the soft hair back from her face. It was finally—finally!—starting to grow a little bit, making her appear less bald. Looking at her sweet face solidified her decision even more. Josh was not the type of man to be a father to her child; though they never discussed it she very much doubted he wanted to be a father at all. He was certainly not the type to get up multiple times a night without ever complaining. To change every diaper. To laugh at spit-up rather than grimace or moan. To make up silly songs and dances just to entertain a fussy, teething little girl.

"What do you need, Kate?"

At his soft inquiry, Kate looked up and smiled, answering confidently, "A partner. Someone who's always by my side ready to dive in with me—no matter the situation. Someone I can count on, who's dedicated to us. Well, now I guess to all of us," she added with a small laugh as she looked down to Grace.

"Kate-"

"But the thing is." She cut him off quickly, fearing he might be preparing to launch into what would most likely be a sweet and possibly romantic speech. "Even if that person was standing right in front of me, now I'm the one who's not ready."

His brow wrinkled. "What do you mean?"

With a sigh, Kate moved Grace to her hip and stood up off the floor. She walked over to the sitting area, placed Grace down into her pack-n-play and handed her a set of Fisher Price multicolored keys on a single white key ring before turning back to the curious man.

"When my mom died, I put up all these walls around me—determined to never hurt again. I knew that was no way to live, but I didn't know how to fix it, so I became a person who was very difficult to get to know. You might have noticed that." She pointed out with a wry smile. He gave an expression of obvious recognition.

Letting go of her walls was one of the hardest things Kate had ever done. It had been a choice—a conscious choice made somewhere among late nights working cases together and sleepless nights taking turns walking a very unhappy, recently orphaned little girl around the apartment. She didn't want to live her life alone forever—she needed to let someone in, and though he was not the person she had ever imagined he would be, he was, without question, the one that made the most sense.

"I've changed a lot in the past few years. I'm trying to get better. Grace has helped with that," she said with a wistful look towards the little girl. Then, turning back to the man she said, "But I'm just…I'm not quite there yet, you know?"

She hoped he understood. She hoped he could read between the lines. It was him that she wanted, probably for far longer than she ever realized—certainly long before Grace was brought into their lives. They had been in a good place, their partnership stronger than ever, but being forced into becoming a family changed things. On one hand, it had set them off course, since they were more focused on the little girl than themselves. On the other, it had sped up their relationship quite rapidly.

Though it was not in the same bed, they were still living together, forced to interact multiple times a day. Castle's loft apartment was spacious for sure, but it still only had one main living area. Six months in to their cohabitation it felt normal to descend the stairs and find Castle spooning mashed bananas into Grace's mouth while he stood yawning, still in his t-shirt and boxer shorts. It felt normal to interact with each other while still grumbly and not yet awake due to lack of coffee. It felt normal to laugh hysterically when Grace smashed banana all over Castle's face and he proceeded to lick the residue off her fingertips as a rolling laugh spilled from her tiny lips.

When he walked around to her side of the couch and gazed at her kindly, she felt sure he understood. "It's not a race, Kate. Don't put so much pressure on yourself."

She shook he head and rocked back on her heels. "No, I know, I'm not I just…I wanted you to know."

He nodded. "Thank you. Now, if you want some time to yourself I can take Grace and-"

"Oh no." She shook her head. She didn't want to spend time apart from him; quite the opposite actually. "Actually, I was just about to turn the game on," she said, thumbing towards the TV. "Do you want to watch with us?"

He grinned. "Definitely."

* * *

 _November_

With a mixture of a groan and a sigh, Kate placed the final handful of silverware into the dishwasher, lifted the door, shut it, and then rested her hands with palms flat against the counter. Finally, everything from their family thanksgiving meal was cleaned up. It had been a good, though very long day, and she was positively exhausted.

All in all, their inaugural family holiday had been a success and gone off with only minor hitches. Grace had been a perfect angel while her parents spent the morning preparing for the meal. She'd cooed and was adorable as each grandparent took turns cuddling and playing with her. It wasn't until the moment they sat down to eat that all hell broke loose. They should have seen it coming—she'd been too excited to nap that morning and had absolutely crashed just around the time Kate was about to take her first bite. Their meal was then spent passing Grace off between them as the four adults took turns walking her around the apartment so the others could eat. Finally, just as they were about to cut the pumpkin pie she settled down enough to take a bottle from Kate's father.

Despite Grace's unhappiness, the meal went smoothly. The food was excellent, and both Kate's father and Castle's mother got along well, despite it being one of the first times they were in each other's presence. Of course the fact that Grace was there as a distraction certainly didn't hurt at all.

After they'd left, Kate busied herself with putting away leftovers and cleaning up the dozens of pots, pans and plates used before and during the meal while Castle took over bath and bedtime duties. His mother had stayed to read the little girl a story, but now she had gone and Kate expected Castle back in the kitchen at any moment, for it was his job to clean off the countertops and to take out the trash.

Turning around to double check to make sure she had not accidentally left a spare dish or piece of silver on the dining room table, Kate felt the fatigue setting in as she crossed the room. Damn, how was she this tired? Yes, the day had been full of stressors, but certainly not more stressful than regular days at her job when she was occasionally shot at. Then again, that was a stress she had plenty of practice dealing with; all these parenting stressors were new.

After confirming the table was empty, Kate turned back to start the dishwasher only to see the writer descending the stairs. "Did she go down easy?" she asked.

"Not as easy as I thought; think she was just overtired. She should sleep for a while now—I hope." He added with a half laugh.

Kate hummed and silently hoped Grace felt the need to sleep until at least seven the next morning—or even later!

"Hey, so, um, can we talk a minute?"

At her companion's hesitant-sounding tone, Kate turned and eyed him curiously. "What's wrong?"

He stopped a few feet from her and leaned back against the counter. "Nothing's wrong per-say. I just… Mother brought up something as we were getting Grace ready for bed and I thought we should talk about it."

Kate arched her eyebrow. A subject brought up by Martha Rodgers? That could be almost anything, but more than likely something she should be fully alert to comprehend. "Are you sure that's something you want to talk about now? Aren't you exhausted?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm tired, but I won't be able to sleep with this out there…"

"What's going on?" she asked, now slightly concerned.

"As we were putting Grace in her pj's, Mother reminded me that this whole arrangement was meant to be temporary. You, living here, that is. We said you would move in here, we'd take care of Grace and we'd figure out the details later. Do you remember that?"

"I do."

"Well, that was eight months ago, Kate, and we basically haven't talked about it since."

She took a half step back and dropped her eyes towards the ground, her heart rate increasing steadily. Well, okay. This was an interesting topic to bring up after they'd just had a family event. He was, of course, one hundred percent correct in his assessment. They hadn't talked about future arrangements, not even after Grace's adoption officially went through, but given their conversation from a few months earlier she thought he understood that they….but perhaps not. "So you don't want me staying here anymore?"

"No! No. The opposite, actually." He stepped towards her and when she looked up she saw he was smiling. "I want you to sell your place and move in here—permanently. I don't know how—maybe they had a crystal ball or something but—Kev and Jenny were somehow able to see the future—to see that you, me, and Grace together make a family. Yeah, our lives are crazy and messy and this family started out all backwards, but now it works and we're happy. I'm happy. Aren't you happy?"

Hope returning, she answered truthfully, "Yeah I'm happy."

He took another step towards her. "So let's keep being happy—together."

Her tired brain struggled to comprehend exactly what she was saying. Sell her place. Move in the loft permanently; it wasn't adding up. "But…how would that even work? You just want me to…live in the upstairs bedroom and put my stuff in storage and then-"

"Oh, I'm sorry—I want us to be a couple. Was that not clear?"

Her heart skipped a beat on the word "couple" and so she stammered out, "I…No."

The writer cursed and skimmed his hand over his face. "Shit—okay—wait let me start over: I'm in love with you. Is that better?"

His words caused a smile to burst out onto Kate's face immediately. "Uh huh." She hummed at him, stepping forward so that his arms could circle her waist and her hands could rest gently on his biceps.

Gazing down at her, he said, "I love you. I love us. I love the family we've become and I want more. I know you said you need some time to-"

"No." She insisted. The time for hesitating, pulling back, and running away had long since passed. Ever since their conversation a few months earlier, they had been living as a couple in every sense except the physical one—at least, in Kate's mind. It was time they made it official. "All I need is this." With that, she stood on her toes and brought her mouth to his. Though it was their very first kiss, it didn't feel like it. Kissing Castle felt like the most natural thing in the world—something she had been doing forever and would keep doing for the same amount of time.

When their lips broke, Castle hummed and brought his hands up to cradle her face. "So is that a yes, then?"

She almost laughed. "What was the question?"

"Move in here permanently?"

"Yes."

"Be my girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?"

Kate wrapped her arms around him and sunk against his body, tucking herself beneath his chin; it felt perfect. "Like I've never loved anyone before."

"Mmm Kate."

The writer hummed against the top of her head and pressed a kiss there. She squeezed him a little bit tighter and the grin on her face grew so wide her cheeks began to hurt, but she didn't care about that; all she cared about was him and how much she loved him. It was miraculous, really. For many years she'd feared she'd never find anyone to open herself up to. When they first met, that person being Richard Castle was a laughable concept, but now nearly four years later, removing him from her life would be equivalent to removing her own heart.

After several moments, Kate slid back from the embrace so she could look up at him. He wore an absurd grin, so she lifted herself up on her toes and kissed it away. He pulled her in even closer and slid his hands up beneath the back of her shirt, which had her pulling back and laughing. "Castle!"

"What?" He replied innocently though the way his fingertips grazed the flesh beneath her bra clasp was anything but. "You're not tired anymore, are you?"

"Not entirely, but-"

"See; perfect!"

Though he tried to pull her in for a kiss again, she held him back with her hand flat against his chest. "Can we just take a minute, please?" When he gave her a questioning expression, she confessed, "It's not that I don't want this. I mean, it's been nine months, obviously I want this, but can we just take a minute?"

He removed his hands from her bra clasp and took a step back from her. "Sure; of course Kate; I'm not trying to rush you."

She gave him a sly look. "Yes you are." When a sheepish look crossed his face, she laughed, slipped her hand in his and led him towards the couch. Once she made him sit, she climbed onto the cushion beside his and snuggled up to him like she'd wanted to for months. When his arm fell down over her shoulders and her head found that perfect spot in the crook of his neck, she relaxed and shut her eyes. She unquestionably looked forward to ending her days similarly from that point forward.

"Just so you know," he said softly, "this isn't new for me; it's not just since you and Grace moved in here. I've had feelings for you for a long time."

"I know."

"You do?"

She almost laughed and gave his waist a little squeeze. "You write books about me, Rick."

She felt his chest vibrate as he laughed. "Guess that's kind of a giveaway, huh?"

"Little bit, but for the record it's been a while for me, too."

"Then what took us so long?"

She looked up at him pointedly. "The screaming baby who only likes to sleep about four hours at a time—remember her?"

He laughed. "Oh yeah."

Kate leaned over and kissed him. And then kissed him again. And kissed him again as he pulled her into his lap with his arm around her back. Cupping his face with her hands she leaned her forehead against his and tried to take a few deep breaths to calm her rapid heart rate, but there was no use. Her entire body was buzzing with anticipation. She loved him so much.

When she opened her eyes she saw he gazed at her with an equal amount of love and devotion. A happy laugh escaping her lips, she dove forward and kissed him again, knowing that in that moment she had never been happier.

* * *

 _A/N: there are 2 more parts: the 'epilogue' and then an alternate ending._


	4. Part 4

_August_

Standing on the raised wooden deck of the Hamptons estate, Kate leaned against the railing and gazed down at the sand where a giggling little girl in an ivory dress fell into the arms of her Uncle Javier. Kate smiled at her colleague tossed the girl in the air, caught her, and spun her around. Grace's laughter was contagious; she never grew tired of hearing it.

As she watched, Kate felt a pair of arms slide around her waist, skimming across the smooth, silky surface of her white gown. Feeling the smoothness of a newly acquired wedding band on the man's hand, she smiled and leaned back against his chest.

He dropped a kiss on to the base of her neck and asked, "Are you happy Mrs. Castle?"

Kate smiled at the moniker. She had only ben Mrs. Castle officially for a little over two hours, but she knew it would be quite some time before she grew tired of hearing him address her as such. Spinning around in his embrace she leaned up and kissed him. "Very. Are you happy Mr. Castle?"

"Incredibly. I love you."

"I love you too." She kissed him again before turning and nodding towards the sand below. "Do you see how happy Grace is?" At that point, she and Uncle Javi appeared to be digging some sort of hole. Kate could only imagine what it would be used for, though hoped it did not involve burying her daughter in her new, pretty dress.

Castle hummed. "She loves the beach. We have to come out here more often."

Kate leaned in to him as she looked towards where the altar was still standing. Now it was surrounded by half a dozen round chairs where their guests ate and drank as music played. Their wedding had not been a huge, Manhattan celebration, but intimate and familial; Kate wouldn't have wanted it any other way. "I'm so glad we got married here."

"Me too." He sighed. "We'll definitely be like those gross old couples who just keep telling the nauseating stories of their perfect wedding and romance to all their kids and-"

"All their kids?" She interrupted with a tone noting concern. "Just how many do you think we're having Castle?"

He took a half step back to look at her more directly. "You agreed on one or two more."

She nodded; that was what they agreed and she had not changed her mind, however… "Yes, but you made it sound like dozens."

He shook his head and assured her, "Oh no. I think three is plenty."

She flashed him a teasing smile. "Well since I'll be the one giving birth to them you don't have much choice."

He laughed. "Fair enough."

She slid her arms around his waist and leaned into him once more. "By the way—you're wrong."

"About what?"

"We won't be like all the old couples, because our story definitely isn't like anyone else's."

"No," he said, squeezing her a bit tighter. "It's definitely not."

* * *

 _A/N: this is the epilogue and technically it would fit both endings. Sorry its super short. Like i said this was originally meant to be a one shot...but then it grew to 13,000 words...and yeah. "Alt Ending" which is actually like a replacement for the previous part, will be posted later this week_

 _Thanks for reading!_


	5. Alt Ending

_A/N: This would take place in lieu of the part labeled "November" and it would take place in October. When originally outlining this, I thought of both thse endings and couldn't choose btwn them so i decided to write & post them both :)_

* * *

Standing at the edge of the crib, staring down at the little girl wearing her lavender sleepwear covered in white sheep, Kate could not help but be amazed at how much something so small had changed her life over the prior seven months. Though back at the beginning of the year Kate never would have imagined a life with a daughter, in that moment she knew losing said child would devastate her beyond recovery. Now that everything was official—legal—losing Grace was not even a possibility.

Though Kate had thought of Grace as hers for many, many months, that afternoon she and Castle had stood in front of a judge and made their family official. It was, without question, one of the best moments of her life and she suspected the writer felt the same. The mixture of joy, pride, relief, and a small amount of sadness at the memory of their friends gone but not forgotten, had nearly brought Kate to tears, but she managed to hold it in until they were back at Castle's apartment and he went to change Grace's diaper.

Now, staring down at the girl letting out soft snuffles in her sleep, Kate could only see the promise of an incredible future with milestones like crawling and walking for certain, but also laughter, joy, vacations, and maybe even a pet. The possibilities were endless.

Though his movements were incredibly stealthy for a man of his stature, Kate heard her companion when he entered the room and stepped up behind her. He rested one hand on the edge of the crib and the other gently between her shoulder blades. They stood together in a comfortable silence before Kate moved her hand resting on the crib railing so that it was on top of his. "I'm glad it was just the three of us tonight."

Originally, Castle had spoken of having a large party to celebrate Grace's official adoption, but then they weren't sure if they would have Friday morning or afternoon court time and since they wanted Grace to be alert and not grumpy for her party, they'd opted to have the party on Saturday instead. While both their parents along with Ryan and Jenny's were present at the courthouse, they'd all gone their separate ways after the hearing.

"Me too." The writer said softly. He smoothed his hand over her sweater to give the top of her shoulder a little squeeze. "Or first official night as a family."

Kate hummed and leaned her body in to his. Castle's arm moved from the top of her shoulder down to her arm, pulling her in and giving her a kiss on the head. Kate shut her eyes as she leaned in to him. Though the move was an intimate one, it didn't feel out of place at all between them. They'd been getting progressively closer over the prior few months, with hugs and cheek or forehead kisses becoming almost commonplace. Effortlessly, they were becoming a true family.

"Kate, I…"

When Castle's voice drifted off, she pulled back and gazed up at him, curious until she saw the look on his face. It displayed a mixture of emotions with a small amount of uncertainty and confusion, but an overwhelming amount of love. As her breath hitched in her chest, Kate came to the conclusion that this was, indeed, the moment; the moment they crossed over the barrier, never to return, never wanting to return.

Raising herself up slightly on her toes, Kate brought her lips to his. He drew her in, his fingers splayed across her back. She skimmed hers up his firm chest and around his neck, feathering his fingers lightly through his hair. Though it was their first official kiss it was, without question, perfect.

When Kate pulled back she bumped their noses together, pressed her forehead into his and gripped greedily at the base of his neck. His hand moved from the edge of the crib to her hip, and Kate needed no further invitation. Leaning away, she smiled at him, slipped her hand in his, and led him across the hall to her bedroom.

* * *

The next morning Kate was pulled abruptly from sleep by the sounds of whimpering coming from the baby monitor on Castle's side of the bed. She opened her eyes and saw that her companion's back was to her, so she didn't know if he was asleep or not. Rolling on to her side, she waited a few moments to see if the whimpers would go away, but as soon as they turned into a full blown cry, Kate pushed herself up into a sitting position. Before she managed to pull the sheets back, the writer popped up out of bed like he'd been wide awake the whole time. She blinked at him, still a little too sleepy to fully process what he was doing.

"I got her," he said as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

"You sure?" she asked sluggishly.

He nodded, took a step towards the bedroom door, stopped, turned, and leaned down over the bed to kiss her head. "Good morning, by the way." Then, with a wink, he disappeared.

Dopey smile across her face, Kate collapsed back against the mattress. She turned her head to the side to see the bedside clock; it was shortly after six in the morning. Well, that wasn't bad. Grace had slept for over eight hours, which was slightly better than average for her, now that she usually didn't need middle of the night feedings (thank god). She would have been much too tired to get up anyway.

Laying there with her eyes closed, Kate thought about the night before, and how incredible it was being with Castle for the first time. Though the argument could be made that their intimacy was long overdue, Kate found their timing perfect. With the judge's official decree, they were forever tied through their newly adopted little girl; they were a family and it seemed the perfect time to take the next step in their relationship. She had been ready for months to be with Castle in that way, but being a parent often meant putting one's personal needs in a backseat position. She wanted to broach the subject sooner than later, but just diving in seemed equally appropriate.

"Well someone had a very poopy diaper." The writer returned toting Grace on his hip; she was sucking on the lime green pacifier in her mouth. He sat down on the bed and lay back against the pillow, intending for Grace to lie on his chest, but she pushed herself into a half crawling position with her pudgy hands flat against his chest.

"Just as well." Kate sighed and reached out to stroke the little girl's arm. "We have to get up and get moving soon since _someone_ thought a brunch party was a good idea."

"It is a good idea." He countered. "We just should have scheduled it for four o'clock."

She laughed. "Because that's when you brunch."

"You can brunch anytime." Just then, Grace let out a high pitched cry and spat her pacifier from her mouth. Castle tried to comfort her and cuddle her against his chest, but she reached out for Kate with her tiny fingers. "Looks like she wants Mommy."

Kate grinned and took the girl from Castle's outstretched arms. "C'mere sweet girl" The moment her hands connected around Grace's middle, she stopped crying. She lay against Kate's chest while Castle popped the pacifier back into her mouth. Kate kissed the crown of her head and stroked her back softly, before turning to her companion and offering a smile.

Castle reached over and slipped his fingers around her bicep, using his thumb to gently brush the bare skin on her arm. "First morning of the rest of our lives, right?"

She hummed and danced her fingers over Grace's back for several moments before turning to face the writer. "I need to thank you, Castle; I wouldn't have gotten through the past six months without you."

He nodded. "Ditto."

She eyed him a bit skeptically. "I think you would have been fine, super dad." He was, after all, technically on his second round of parenting and had far less questions and moments of panic than she.

He shrugged. "We might have made it, but it wouldn't have been as fun or fulfilling. I'm so happy that we're a family—all three of us."

"Me too."

Castle leaned over and kissed her lips and then dropped his head to the pillow beside hers and brushed his lips over her shoulder. They lay that way for several moments before he lifted his head again and asked cautiously, "Would it be too soon if I asked you to marry me."

Not expecting this, Kate practically laughed. Marriage? Boy he didn't waste and time, did he? Cradling Grace, she sat up in bed and rearranged their position. Grace fussed minimally, but accepted her new position seated on the bed between them. Looking down at her partner she asked, "Don't you want to date first, Castle?"

He sat up to meet her eye more easily. "What's dating going to tell me about us that living together and raising a child hasn't? Not to mention the two and a half years of partnership before that."

She could see his point, but it just seemed too absurd—and too hasty. "But marriage is a big step. Let's just be happy like this for a little while." Noticing the slightly offended look he wore, she reached over and slipped her hand into his, assuring him, "I do want us, Rick, I just-"

"I know." He cut her off. "I should know by now not to rush you."

Grinning, Kate leaned over and kissed him. "I love you." It was the first time she'd said those three words to a man in quite some time, but they weren't scary at all. With Castle, she knew she meant them with all her heart; there was no question.

A smile burst onto his cheeks and he pulled her in for another kiss. "I love you—both of you so much." He gazed adoringly down at Grace who seemed fascinated by her toes at the moment. Shaking his head with disbelief he said, "You have no idea what a relief and joy it is to have a second chance."

"Maybe even a third one..." When his brow furrowed at her comment, she clarified. "You want another child of your own, right?"

He shut his eyes and shook his head as though she were a genie who had just granted his deepest, most desired wish. "If it's our child I'd have a dozen."

"We're not having a dozen." She told him very seriously.

"No I know I-yes. Absolutely yes."

She smiled at him. "I can't wait."

* * *

 _Thank you all so much for reading this story! I'm so glad you all liked it!_


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